Resident Advisors (RAs) have the unique task of creating community with the residents of the residence halls. This task of creating community is a big undertaking, which requires care, kindness, attentiveness, and is the responsibility of each member of the community. Collectively, the students living in our residence halls create a community atmosphere. Creating community means fostering a sense of belonging, supporting students, connecting with others, sharing resources, and ensuring all members of the community act responsibly. To assist with the task of ensuring all members of the community act responsibly, residence halls and college campuses across the nation have policies that are upheld. When these policies aren’t being followed, RAs have the task of addressing these violations. The question that arises is this: “How do RAs address policy violations without ruining relationships with residents?”
TLDR: Tell the residents what an RA’s role is right away.
Addressing policy violations, especially in August at the beginning of the school year, can seem like a daunting task for new RAs. I remember my first days as an RA and how nervous I was that the residents of the hall would not respect me, like me, listen to me, or comply with my requests when documenting situations. Today, I look back and recognize that more than anything, most of the students I was working with were more anxious than I was as they were mostly new to college 18 year olds who hadn’t been away from home before, similar to how I had been just two years before. While there were certainly policy violations of my residents that I documented, much to their chagrin, it didn’t really alter the relationships I had with them. They knew I was their RA first and their “friend” second. I recommend stating in your first floor meeting of the school year what your role is, which goes directly into the next pivotal piece of advice I have to share.
TLDR: An effective start matters – Make the most out of your first floor meeting!
This can be as simple as “I’m your Resident Advisor, which means that I’m a student employee living in the hall with you, a resource, someone who can help guide you, and someone you can reach out to when you have a concern. Note that part of my job is upholding our community policies, so today I’ll be going over some of the policies that I commonly have to address. I don’t like having to address policy violations, which is part of my job, so I’m hoping that by going over them today, you can all help me not have to write reports.” Is that going to keep students from choosing to violate policies? Absolutely not. It will, however, inform them, keep them from saying “I had no idea that was a policy violation”, or get them to be less obvious about the violations they are choosing to participate in, which in turn means less reports for you to write!
TLDR: Address violations in the moment.
I still remember sitting in a department-wide RA meeting where we were discussing documenting incidents and an RA stated proudly to the group, “I don’t write up my residents. If something is going on, I can have someone else do that”. While I see where this RA was coming from, likely wanting to preserve the positive relationships she had with her residents, it’s the job of the RA to address policy violations as they occur. Once you start letting policy violations happen on your floor in front of you, residents are likely going to be more frustrated as time goes on and later on you start documenting the issues. I’ve found that it’s best to address things yourself with care, rather than pawning tasks off to other RAs to have them be the “bad guys”…really, there are no “bad guys” and the students did something they shouldn’t have. As the direct RA of the students, you can have a more meaningful interaction since you already (should) have a relationship with them.
TLDR: Introduce yourself and share why you are there!
Oftentimes, you will be documenting situations while you are on call. These are the times when you’re in parts of the community that you normally wouldn’t be, around students that you may not know. When things are happening, like overhearing a loud party, you’ll have to knock on the door and address the violations related to this that are happening inside. Sometimes RAs will assume the students automatically know they are RAs and that the students know what they’re doing wrong. If some student knocked on my door and just asked to see my ID, I’d be super confused. Make sure that anytime you’re addressing students who may not know you, you introduce yourself. Say who you are and why you are there. I like to use statements like “I noticed…” and “I overheard…” followed by the policy of concern. That way, the residents aren’t feeling bombarded out of nowhere.
TLDR: Avoid “Coming in Hot”
“I’M WRITING YOU UP!” Yelling this at a student is not going to help ease tensions. I suggest staying calm, using a normal tone of voice (unless circumstances dictate that a more forceful, directive tone of voice is required). Be chill.
TLDR: Be you!
It’s okay to have a personality while addressing policy situations. You don’t need to act like you don’t know someone in the room if it’s someone you know well. Something I’ll say when a student is really bummed to be part of an incident, or annoyed about how long it’s taking for a response from campus security is “I know you don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. It’s part of my job.” Usually, students hear and understand that, especially if they’ve had a job before. If you’re willing to share about yourself, you can ask the students about other things they’ve been up to lately, find common ground, and connect with the students. Recently, I was navigating a duty call in a student’s room where he had a bunch of anime pictures up on his wall. Personally, I don’t know anything about anime, but I asked him about it and the awkward silence turned into a conversation about something he was passionate about. It’s okay to be inquisitive and to ask students questions about non-related things, to ease the “awkward silences”. Now when I see this student around campus, he usually says hello!
TLDR: Understand the reason for the policy.
Rules exist for a reason. Sometimes that reason is obvious while other times it isn’t immediately clear to students. Make sure that if there is a policy you don’t really understand, you ask your supervisor for clarity. One policy that I didn’t understand at my current institution was why our community kitchen closed at 10pm. I asked, “Why doesn’t the community kitchen just stay open so that students can cook at any time?” This lead my supervisor to share that after the desks closed at 10pm, nobody was able to monitor the area, the fire alarm for the building was almost exclusively set off in the kitchen after 10pm when it had been open all the time in the past, which coincided with the most disruptive time for a fire alarm to go off given that it was at night. Late at night was also when students made messes that they didn’t clean up. It often got loud with large numbers of people congregating in the community kitchen after coming back from a night out. Because I was able to gain this understanding of the reason for the policy, I was then more comfortable talking with frustrated students who wanted access later at night. Understanding why a policy exists makes it easier to explain and enforce.
TLDR: Explain next steps.
This is a great tool for wrapping up your conversation. Oftentimes students will ask “Ok, so what does this mean?” after you have asked for their identification and addressed the policy violation. Tell them that you don’t oversee the conduct process, you are simply going to be documenting the situation, but that commonly the next step is that you will receive an email from the building’s hall director either scheduling a required conduct meeting with them or a formal letter reminding them of the policy. Avoid saying things like “You aren’t in any trouble” or “it’s not a big deal” because though it may not be a big deal to you, it could be a big deal to that student.
TLDR: You can only control your own actions.
Even after following all of the advice above when it comes to addressing policy violations, there are still going to be students who are going to push back against you when you are addressing a policy violation. There will be students who, for lack of a better term, hold grudges against you for “getting them in trouble”. Let’s be honest, some students haven’t been held accountable for their actions before and don’t know how to act right. Some students have had negative interactions with those in roles of authority in the past and struggle to move past their preconceived notions. At the end of the day, you can only control your actions. Be kind to others, communicate effectively, and talk to your supervisor as needed.
As a student staff member, you’re in a unique leadership position where you hold others accountable, while also being a resource and a source of connection for students. By following the advice shared here, my hope is that you can better address policy violations as an RA without damaging the relationships you have with the residents of your community.
About The Author
Tamarah Humphreys (she/her/hers) has lived in residence halls since 2014. After earning her Masters’ in Counseling Student Personell: College Student Affairs at Minnesota State University, Mankato, Tamarah’s career journey led her to serving in three different Resident Director roles across three states. Tamarah, a self-proclaimed adventure seeker, finds herself exploring new places and spaces regularly, most recently relocating from Colorado to California.
