We all have moments in our careers where we cringe. I remember a regular departmental staff meeting my second year of graduate school, where our director shared with us that we were doing something new today. Depending on your demeanor, the words, “something new” can either be very exciting or terrifying. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, was I about to give my top three outcomes for the next quarter, an oral presentation on current programs and try in vain to connect them to a strategic priority some AVP thought up? Who knew? Then our director placed a small white box on the table. Opening this box poured out tens of little golden ducks. Yes, golden ducks. We were asked to highlight the work that one person was doing on that team in the past week, and then recognize them by giving them a one of golden ducks. At first, I’ll admit I was not bought into the idea. However, as time went on I started to really see the importance that “kudos” as I call them plays in a team.
At this point in the academic year, most of us in residence life have finished what we consider the busy season. The weeks filled with day long training, move in, floor meetings, orientation programming, the first days of class, and convocations. However, the bulk of the fall semester I would argue is where the real hard work in this profession lies. You don’t see your RAs every moment of the week like you do in training. They are not seeing their residents as often as they balance their class schedule with the position. And the residents are leaving the honeymoon phase of their college experience and getting the first doses of what they weren’t told on the admissions tour. It’s now when the rubber (duck) starts to meet the road. At times it can be overwhelming, exhausting but interlaced are those moments where things didn’t go as well with the ones that remind us of our “why”.
Much of our work in housing in residence life in rooted in moments where things go wrong, having a conduct meeting with a resident, an accountability conversation with a staff member. We spend so much time on what people did wrong. While yes, those things are important to students’ development and learning; they don’t paint a complete picture.
As I was leading my RA staff through their fall training, we would end each day with each team member sharing their Good and their Bad. What went well in their day and what were the things that didn’t or the largest struggle that day. Their bads ran the gambit, from being tired from a long day of training to the dining hall food. But we also took a moment for each person on our team to share kudos towards another. Good, Bad, Kudos, as our team eventually called it was met at first with the same skepticism that I had once has. But by the end of the training, it was something each of the RAs on our staff wanted to participate in. Good, Bad, Kudos, is nothing revolutionary but what it does is forces us to see the moment truly holistically. We acknowledge what is going well. We name what is difficult. And we take time to notice the people around us who are making a difference. In a profession where so much of our attention is naturally drawn toward what needs to be fixed, sometimes the most important thing a supervisor can do is pause and ask: What is going right and who deserves to be recognized for it?
When I think back to that staff meeting during graduate school, I still remember the little white box and the dozens of golden ducks that spilled out of it. At the time, I wasn’t convinced that something so simple could really make a difference. I certainly didn’t imagine that years later I would be putting golden ducks on the table for my own staff. But I understand the practice differently now. The duck was never really the point. The point was taking a moment to notice someone. To name something, they did well. To remind a colleague that their work mattered. And, perhaps most importantly, to create a culture where recognizing one another became something we all took responsibility for. Residence Life can be a profession where the urgent easily crowds out the important. A resident crisis needs our attention. A conduct conversation needs to happen. A staff member needs accountability. A problem needs to be solved. But our staff are doing good work in between all of those moments.
They are having meaningful conversations with residents. They are building communities. They are supporting one another. They are learning how to navigate difficult situations. They are showing up on days when they are tired, overwhelmed, or simply wondering if they are making a difference.
We have to make time to see that, too.
Good, Bad, Kudos became one small way for my staff to do that. The golden ducks simply gave us something tangible to represent it. What started as a practice I once thought was a little silly became a reminder that recognition doesn’t have to be complicated, expensive, or formal to matter. So maybe your team doesn’t need a box of golden ducks.
Maybe it’s a shoutout at staff meeting. A handwritten note. A message after a difficult shift. A peer recognition board. Or simply taking thirty seconds to tell someone, “I noticed what you did, and it mattered.” Whatever the practice looks like, the question is the same:
Are we making enough space to notice what is going right?
Because in Residence Life, there will always be something that needs to be fixed. There should also always be someone who deserves kudos.
