If you’ve chosen to serve as a student leader, aside from the financial benefit, you were likely drawn to the role because of a desire to help people. You have likely found yourself to have tips and tricks for your friends or have been willing to be a listening ear to someone in need. However, what can sometimes cause Resident Assistants (RAs) to stumble in their role is not knowing how to provide support from person to person. Helping a friend is not the same as helping a resident. You received training on resources, but training is just the beginning
A trap you should not fall into is thinking that support is one size fits all and all of your residents will need the same kinds of support. Students arrive at colleges or universities with various lived experiences and understanding of how the world works. Some students come with excitement, some students come with fear, some students come with trauma, some come with questions, and some come with everything aforementioned. As a leader, you are often the first person a student will come to for help. Help and support extend far beyond ensuring you recommend them to the right resource. It also involves having an understanding that asking for assistance can be challenging and even embarrassing. Sometimes, residents need you to listen first and then refer.
Here are a few ways to make sure your support fits your resident.
Get to Know Your Residents
Knowing how to properly support your residents as a student leader starts with knowing your residents beyond just their names. Take time to learn about where they are from and what led them to the institution you both are at today. Even knowing if your resident has siblings can help you better support them.
If you are at a larger institution or have a lot of residents, it may be difficult to get to know all of your residents in detail quickly. Take time to notice body language and what they are saying. If a student you know to be confident and comfortable talking to you suddenly seems hesitant or like they would rather be anywhere else by avoiding eye contact or avoiding you, don’t ignore this. Take time to give them your full attention and remind them that you are happy to help with whatever they may need. Normalize what they are experiencing and make sure to keep your own reactions in check.
Helping Your “Ghost” Residents
How do you help students who typically don’t come to you though? You know, the ones that you saw at move in and have not seen again who seem to fully understand what they are doing and make you question if they are living in the building. It is important to still be open to helping these students. Don’t make a fuss about never seeing them or using this as an opportunity to catch up on every intentional conversation that was missed. A casual check in is okay but allow them to communicate their needs. After offering support, it may be beneficial to circle back later in the week to ask how things are going and maybe try to catch up on those intentional conversations.
If your ghost resident is suddenly always around, a larger problem might be impacting them that led to this shift. They may be in more need of more support. Be sure to ask intentional and open-ended questions to gain a clear picture of what is happening. If you think something more is happening, trust your gut and talk to your supervisor!
Helping Your Overwhelmed Residents
In addition to the student who seems to have it all together, another challenge can be the student who does not know where to begin in asking for help. They may be feeling extremely overwhelmed and sometimes the best way to help them is to get them in a different environment. It can be something as small as stepping outside or offering to take a walk. If a student has a laundry list of concerns, discover which one is the most pressing to them and start there.
Supporting students will never be one size fits all. Residents are different day to day and higher education brings its own unique obstacles for everyone. Supporting residents starts with using your listening and helping skills. Remember to prioritize the person in front of you and ask for help yourself if you need it.
