Sometimes in life, you have a supervisor who is not supporting you well. Your boss isn’t always perfect, so what do you do when they mess up or their supervisory style does not support you well? It may be difficult to approach someone with more power than you, but it is their job to support you. You need to speak up… but do it smartly.
Some General Advice
When you choose to address your supervisor about concerns regarding the workplace, respect is key. Your supervisor wants you to succeed. However, people can become defensive when confronted poorly, so you must approach the situation with respect to encourage your supervisor to remain open minded and accepting of your new ideas.
While it is important for you to ask for what you need, you must also acknowledge that you don’t always know all of the pieces of a bigger picture. There could be good reasons for the decisions your supervisor is making. Do not go in assuming you know better or know everything. On the other hand, this does not mean that they can’t adjust to better support you, it just may look different than you initially were thinking or the conversation may be more nuanced.
No matter the issue you’re having with your supervisor, asking if you can set up expectations and goals for your one on ones moving forward is helpful. While this is a great thing to do at the beginning of a year, it can be useful at any point to revisit if one on ones aren’t going as you had hoped.
Common Types of Supervisee-Supervisor Tension
- You’re feeling micromanaged: Let them know you feel restricted and that you would like some room to do things yourself, so you can grow in your own learning. Micromanaging can also add extra stress. Instead, ask about having more freedom and flexibility, but with regular check-ins. Ask what you’re doing well and what you can do to improve so your supervisor knows you’re still planning on taking your tasks seriously.
- You’re feeling like you’re not being supported: If your supervisor is not giving you the direction you need, ask them for specific feedback so you can continue to grow in your job. Let them know that you will thrive with more direction and straightforward, honest input.
- You’re feeling like your supervisor is harsh: When you have a supervisor who only gives you notes on what you’ve done wrong, it can be frustrating and disheartening. These kinds of supervisors often see the great things you are doing, they just only comment on the negative. Let your supervisor know that you need more positive reinforcement. Ask if you can start one on ones with your supervisor highlighting specific things you have done well. If they are harsh with their criticism, ask if they can rephrase things as growth opportunities and if they can recognize you when you do grow in that area.
- You’re feeling like your supervisor isn’t present: If your supervisor isn’t providing you with time and attention, its best to ask for specific things you need. Talk about it face to face and send a follow up email afterwards. Something like, “thank you for talking with me and agreeing to support me by doing X,Y,Z. I really appreciate your help.” Having a written record helps ensure you can both keep each other accountable.
When all else fails, getting another higher up individual involved is sometimes necessary. However, it’s important to be thoughtful on when it is appropriate. The first step is almost always having a conversation with your direct supervisor first to see what they can do differently and how you can work more successfully as a team. If you skip this step, you will most likely be told to go back to this step to see what can be fixed before a higher level administrator gets more involved. A conversation that is specific, centered on respect, and solution oriented is the best way to get the support you need from your supervisor.
